Those who do not want to have children often have to justify themselves. People who do not understand this like to ask the most personal and unpleasant questions in order to identify the reason for not wanting to have children.
Here are emotional stories that really inspire you. (Scroll down to the article.)
Significantly, no reason is ever good enough for such questions, and a simple “I don’t want” is simply not taken seriously. Failure to have children is considered to be the ultimate egoism.
But when couples who are already perceived as “different” want children and also have some, then the view of what should be selfless and what should be selfish shifts surprisingly quickly.
When Patti White from the US state of California received the message from her daughter Lisa over 20 years ago that a grandchild was on the way, she was surprised, but was completely behind her daughter and her decision. That was and is not a matter of course, because Lisa lives with Down syndrome, just like the father of her child.
Down syndrome, also known as trisomy 21, is a congenital and hereditary chromosomal disorder that manifests itself in varying degrees of physical and mental impairment. Many people with trisomy 21 can take care of themselves, have jobs, and lead independent lives.
However, the likelihood that two people with Down syndrome can have a child together is much lower than that of other couples. Pregnancy is also much more dangerous for parents with Down syndrome. The probability that the child of two parents with Down syndrome will also have trisomy 21, on the other hand, is significantly higher than that of other couples.
Lisa and her boyfriend began their relationship when Lisa was 29 years old, lived alone and was able to cope with everyday life completely independently. Lisa’s son Nic was born 4 weeks early and, like his parents, had trisomy 21.
A lot of time has passed since then. Lisa is 54 and Nic 24 years old, the young man was raised by Lisa and Patti and says of himself that he has two mothers with them. He enjoys his life and both his mother and grandmother couldn’t be more proud of him.
Lisa’s decision to have the child was criticized by outsiders as irresponsible and selfish, and her ability to be a good mother was fundamentally questioned. Lisa was also accused of having a high probability that the child would lead a life with Down syndrome, as if she did not know best what that meant.
But having a child is always a risk for everyone involved. To wish for a child is always a personal longing and therefore selfishly motivated. But who has a right to realize this wish in life and who does not – it is never up to those who are not involved to decide.
Anyone who sees Lisa, Nic and Patti together knows that they have definitely made the right decision.
Thumbnail: © Facebook / Patti White
